You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
