i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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