I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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