based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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