I seem to have left my pride at pride
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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