I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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