seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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