Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
