I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
