it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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