There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
