You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
