My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There's always time for handjobs
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
