Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
