Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
