I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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