Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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