Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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