just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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