Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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