I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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