He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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