my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
