How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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