Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
