Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
