well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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