Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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