No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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