im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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