Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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