She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen