The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.