he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me