Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.