brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER