I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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