ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize