This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
