she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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