hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
