Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
one two three fourrrrnication!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize