I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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