I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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