How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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