i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We talked him into tasing himself.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
