yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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