He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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