Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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