omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
there was a trapeze. enough said
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
