she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
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