so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
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Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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