You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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