Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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You ate ashes out of my bong
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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