That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
only if we run a train.
done.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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