But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
