Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.