omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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