I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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