There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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