there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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