Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
