so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
