You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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