i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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