Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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