Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
